Of course we knew it was all going far too smoothly didn't we?
Returning from my brief sojourn in Bangkok with the Jones family and having not seen the pub for three days last night I went and had a sneaky peak. However things were amiss and my stomach churned.
Returning from my brief sojourn in Bangkok with the Jones family and having not seen the pub for three days last night I went and had a sneaky peak. However things were amiss and my stomach churned.
The builders showing the usuual rapid progress had made significant in-roads on the deck but when I got to the bar I found it was suitable only for second row forwards and basketball players.
Even in the glooming twilight I could tell something was seriously arrai (how do you spell that word? We have looked in various sources but found no trace). It did not matter how many times I pretended to loll at the bar it remained uncomfortably high.
I was mortified. The bar has taken 2 weeks to build and is all concreted in and the wood top has been set in place and is being lovingly sanded to smooth perfection. How could I undo that. On the other hand all the steel supports for the deck have been cut and bolted into the concrete and the cross beams fitted. Half of the decking timbers are in place. Four days work and the Lord alone knows how many materials used.
Further inspections revealed that the urinals were too high. Even Great King Dong of enormosly long member fame would struggle to hoist his considerable length over the protective tiled wall in fronty of the urinal masquerading as splash back protection. And all this built by men who are not exactly renowned for prodigous height.
To compound matters two completely superfluous brick pillars had been erected in fronty of the pub entrance which appear on no plans or drawings. It was completely mystifying. Three days away and reliable, solid builders appear to have morphed turned into drunken, surreal agents of construction toiling to create a venue for a race of well hung giants.
The worst thing was that I had no tape measure, the plans or any other reference with me, it was getting dark and all the builders had long departed so I couldn't even confront the problemsuntil the morning. I couldn't even work out whether the fault was mine or the builders or figure a way that the situation could be righted without enormous expense.
I don't often have them but it was a very restless night.
Dawn saw me brighten considerably not least because at last I would be able to properly analyse the problem and look at ways of correction. Despite being wide awake I resisted the temptaion to rush down at first light. I would only end up waiting around for the builders who normally start at 9.
Once I did get down there some of the workers and the supervisor who I call the RSM were already there and they watched me somewhat knowingly as I fussed about with my tape measure. Perhaps they though I wouldn't notice that any normal size drinker wuld be reaching above his head for his pint. The RSM was shaking his head in agreement, he even went and fetched me a bar stool to illustrate the futility of trying to ignore the problem.
I measured 130cm. I measured again at a different point 135cm. At least then I knew the error was not mine. God bless architects and the 120cm I had dictated that had been chiselled in stone on the plans. Someone else would at least be footing the bill.
I telephoned Ek and in our mix of pidgin English and Thai told him I had a proiblem.
'No I have no problems,' he replied cheerfully.
Well you have now,' I said and summoned him quickly.
When he and Pad arrived we looked at the bar and the plans and there was no doubt it had been done wrong. No point in dwelling on these things what's the solution? Lowering the bar is out of the question so the floor has to be raised. To cut an already overly long story short a quick revidsion of the plans and we are now going for a split levetl deck!!! Does Lord Foster have to make these ad hoc design changes I wonder. Actually I think it will work out well but I shall be keeping a very close eye on proceedings over the next few days.
I also pointed out the urinals, the surreal pillars and various other bits which with a little diplomacy kept everyone smiling. However the rest of the day was spent with the 15 strong building team ripping up and tearing down all the mistakes which I think was depressing for everyone concerned.
That'll teach me to go to Bangkok and take my eye off the ball!!
