The Chef that Couldn’t Cook

Last post I spoke about how pleased I was with the attitude of the bar staff – unfortunately the same can’t be said for the chef. What a bloody disaster. Ten days getting ready and preparing the food and I finally came to the conclusion that the chef was about as useful as a lead weight to a pigeon.
My doubts were first awakened when one of the test dishes, chicken as it happens came out undercooked. Can’t be having that, we might kill one of our customers and that might not be conducive to increasing business. When I investigated I suspected that the brand new grill wasn’t working properly but the chef claimed, ‘it cannot be too hot like your heart’. Uncertain of this rather peculiar statement I decided to get the man that sold the said grill in to check it out. After all I could place my hand on the grill without too much discomfort and I am sure that is not hot enough to cook food regardless of the temperature of my apparently red hot heart.
I was proved right the gas was set to the wrong pressure and was duly fixed.
The next incident occurred when I asked chef to serve me one of our patent Thai burgers. Again there seemed an equipment problem. In a week our chef had not even bothered to turn on and test one of the four major pieces of cooking equipment. I began to suspect I had not been landed with the brightest star in the sky so I decided to stop the nice encouragement routine and start to ride him a little harder.
The day before we were due to start food I decided on a full working test. Throughout the night I would send in random food orders as if I was a customer, correcting as we went along on things like presentation etc. And correct I did on virtually every single dish. The straw that finally broke the camel’s back was being served stone cold satay. On demanding an explanation he told me that ‘no one came to fetch the food.’ With 3 bar staff sitting around twiddling their thumbs sitting a few yards from the kitchen I went into Gordon Ramsay mode. Seconds into my tirade the chef slammed his palm down on the table with some force and exclaimed ‘I quit’.
Good bloody riddance.

The only problem is that I am now not only trying to manage a brand new business but also having to cook the meals. At least customers will get hot food!